I thought that moving to a city, especially a city populated with many members of my faith (Latter-day Saints), would help me in my goal to date more.
Apparently I was wrong.
But then I realized that the reason I'm not dating is so much more than the lack of guys asking girls out. I won't take the initiative either.
Sometimes I can come off as 'too sophisticated', 'out of your league', and sadly I might possibly seem to have an attitude of 'holier than thou'. I promise I don't mean to be ANY of those things. I'm just simply shy.
Last semester I didn't know many people, and I was okay with that. The few friends that I did make are still my closest friends here. I take a while to open up, even about little things. I don't normally give any details about my life, even when someone ask me questions more pressing (with the real intent to relate to me) than 'How are you doing?'.
I need to just get out of the little shell that I've kept myself in so long and let people in. I've pushed the rest of the world out for so long, I'm starting to forget what it's like to let others in.
No, I never went through a bad romance. I never opened up too soon. Frankly, whenever I saw a relationship forming into something more than just friends I instantly killed it.
FEAR.
I need to get past it.
What are some ways you think I can get past my fears of dating?
This reminds me of a book that talks about the good girl syndrome, its a book for married people by an LDS woman, but, the first chapter discusses what she calls the good girl syndrome. It talks about how we're told no no no to everything reguarding chastity, and how we, wanting to be good girls, tend to shy away from everything remotely intimate, even from friendsships with the other gender because thats just a step closer to everything we are told not to do. But the truth is that there has to be intimacy-not just physically when you get married, but emotionally and socially-so, my suggestion: Relax. Have fun. Being friends has to happen first, and being friends doesn't mean your going to get married and doesn't mean your going to start dating and doesn't mean anything about "letting people in." Just roll with the punches, go where the people are, try things you wouldn't normally try, share your opinions and thoughts and relax, people can take it or leave it, but I promise those with similar interests and goals will notice you.
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